


Butter Side Up

by Toft



Category: MythBusters RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anthropomorphism - Freefom, Crack, Food, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-12
Updated: 2010-01-12
Packaged: 2017-10-06 05:37:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toft/pseuds/Toft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamie is toast; Adam is jam. This is a crack AU. For reals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Butter Side Up

"Aw, come on, get serious, Adam," Jamie says, as Adam starts to drip over the side of Jamie's crust onto the plate. "Don't get mess on my stuff."

"I just want to see what's down there!" Adam says. He tries to swoosh around a bit on top of Jamie. Jamie grunts.

"Stop it. You're making it difficult to hold you up."

Adam tries to keep still, he really does, but he's _bored_.

"Just wait a minute!" Jamie says, and then, _woah_, they're _flying_, _sweet_. Hey, bits of them are being eaten! Oh man, Adam's being smeared all over a human! His job is so fucking awesome.

"There, wasn't that worth waiting for?" says Jamie. His chuckles reverberate through Adam, making him feel kind of warm and liquidy inside.

"That was awesome," Adam says sincerely.

"Yeah, it kind of was," says Jamie.

*

Adam worked with a lot of different bread products in his time, even some gluten-free crackers. Everybody kept telling him he had to meet this guy Jamie. When he met him, he wasn't that impressed at first. Jamie's basically boring-looking; brown, square, flat. Kind of crispy. He's always evenly toasted; Adam has never caught him out being even a little burnt, ever, and his edges are always smooth. But, sure, Adam gave it a try. And the weird thing is, they work well together.

*

Jamie worked with a number of condiments before he met Adam. He prefers to work alone, but for some reason people find him a little dry. Butter was too greasy; peanut butter was too messy; cheese had a tendency to have meltdowns, which Jamie has no patience for and cannot deal with. People kept telling him he had to meet this guy Adam. At first, Jamie wasn't that impressed; Adam messes up every surface he comes into contact with, he's got an uneven texture that tends to lump, and Jamie found his bright colour disconcerting. The first time Adam spread over Jamie, he pressed himself up against him, sticky and intimate, sliding into all of Jamie's crevices, and for a moment it was way too much; then Adam said, "Man, check out that knife, Jamie, did you see that? Look at that surface! How do they get it like that?" and Jamie said, "Well, they actually have self-sharpening knives here," and Adam said, "Holy crap, that's so cool. Where?" and - well, they turned out to have quite a lot in common. Jamie found himself - not looking forward to working with him again, exactly, but not displeased when they were, again and again. He guesses they must taste good together.

*

Jamie stops Adam dripping all over the place; on Jamie, Adam's always spread into a thick, even layer, and although he thought his strength was his ability to get places nobody else could, he's found that with Jamie's strong support, he can be more than he's ever been before, thicker, more consistent. Jamie's a little more savoury than Adam's used to, but Adam knows, deep down, that people can find him a little too sweet, on his own.

*

Jamie gets mad when Adam makes a mess. Sometimes he finds him a little overwhelming. He's gotten used to Adam getting in his space. He tolerates it, mostly. But - well. He'd never admit it to Adam, but. Even Jamie gets a little bored of himself, sometimes. With Adam, he gets to do stuff and go places he never would have, before. And it wouldn't be as fun without Adam saying stupid stuff right in his ear, pressed up against him, warm and comfortable. It's - it's nice.

*

Adam likes having Jamie underneath him. He likes the solid feeling of him, how warm he is. Adam's always been his own thing, and sometimes he gets impatient with Jamie, how he's the same all the time; he wants to mess up his neat corners, get him to burn himself a little, just to see how it feels. But they've worked together so often now that Adam has little crumbs lodged in him, he's got a little of Jamie's structure and solidity and crunch, and the way Jamie feels sometimes, Adam thinks that Jamie's absorbed some of Adam, become a little softer. Adam's never had that kind of relationship with anyone before. And it's - it's nice.

*

"Say, Adam, how do you feel about going in a sandwich today?" says Jamie.

"That sounds awesome, Jamie!" chirps Adam. "Oh man, will they wrap us in that cling film stuff?"

"It's quite possible."

"Sweet," Adam says fervently.

"Yeah," says Jamie, "You are."

END


End file.
